I feel like talking about birthdays. And a big part of that is because mine is approaching. Yes, I totally just threw that out there as a reminder. My little sister's birthday (Baby Lauren) was this past week. I laughed when her status update the day before was basically a reminder for her friends. Oh sure, maybe she was slightly depressed that she was somewhere between 25 and 30 (shut it, Baby Lauren), but to me it was just a "Hey friends, the day is tomorrow. Get on it and start typing my facebook birthday message. All the LOLs!"
I'm probably much worse though. Usually before my birthday- a good 2-3 months before- I seek out those birthday alerts and start paying into the birthday bank. I do my duty and if I like you, I do it on my iPhone with 10 emojis. If I really like you, those emojis will make no sense, like, I'll throw in a recycling sign. But really, I'm just thinking I better start making myself present so people on April 9th are like, "oh yeah, it's Kristen's birthday... and she wished me a happy one on February 23rd so I'll do what's right here: Happy Birthday, Kristen." (Emojis are optional, depending on how special we find each other.)
See how it works?
I love it when people, midday on their birthday, throw a shout out to all the birthday love. No, you're not really thanking anyone. You're giving lazy people a last call. "Thanks, you guys, for all the birthday wishes! I feel so blessed and you really know how to make a girl feel special!" followed with the blushing, smiley emoji. I'm on to you, midday thankers. You're just wanting more well-wishers. Congrats, because you will now get 20 more Happy Birthdays (but we all know it doesn't count since they're filed under replies and not directly on your timeline) "Have a day that is as fabulous as you are!" they say. But I don't judge. I do it, too. I've pulled out the imaginary spreadsheet and think, hmmm... last year at 3:30 pm, I had about 43 more "happy birthdays", better start selling harder and go ahead and thank people...gotta make quota!"
And then you get desperate and 24 hours after your birthday, you send out the final thank you, the final last call- this is it. I can't believe it's come to this. I'm giving you one last chance to make it right. 10 or so (maybe more if you have over 1,000 friends) pony up a "Happy Belated Birthday!" You appreciate that they paid attention and acknowledged being tardy. Still, some "Happy Birthday! Hope today is great!" come in these are the folks that just don't get it. They're the same people that think your memory post from 5 years ago happened just 5 seconds ago. So, to the 24 hour later group you think, better late than never, and also... whatever.
I can think of 3 special people in recent times that I plum forgot to wish Happy Birthday on facebook. I would have even included the emoji recycled sign for them. So for what it's worth to these friends... "Happy Belated Birthday!" Better late than never, eh? ...Whatever.
Below are pictures from 3 years ago when Lauren & I had a joint Birthday party. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. For some reason we thought it would be great to model our party after all the cheesy things couples do- the photoshoots on train tracks, the picture frames, everything. We made each other corsages, had a pinata (of course!), fed one another cake and walked down an "aisle" to the Happy Birthday song to our family rolling their eyes. We made everyone watch as we opened presents and at the end, I gave Lauren a toilet seat and later glued cut-up foam noodles to it and painted the words "Pontoon Potty" on it. I won't say anymore since Mom was angry at me for posting the Pontoon Potty on social media 3 years ago. No need to bring up stuff that will embarrass the family. No need for that...